Every week I have the same routine. Work days, off days, school days, kids days, and chore days. Balancing all the activities of children and home life and work , my routine is all that I have to stay sane.
When I am off my routine, I get upset even slight panics. Yet when its for what ever reason and slow then I want to change it up. I make no sense. When I plan something out of the norm, I am excited until right before and want to cancel it . I love socializing and being around friends and family I just want it on my terms lol I don’t know . Fear of enjoying myself and forgetting something important.
I enjoy being a mother and a wife, yet sometime no ones sees my happiness because the lack of self control is it ? I don’t know but my frustration with ‘my’ normal every day life always shows though I wish it did not . for example if plans go wrong or child misbehaves I cannot address it in the moment or pick if its a battle worth it and move on .Maybe its the impulsivity ?
Now overall I am productive in all areas . I myself am just noticing small projects for myself ot work on .
My question is ….. am I the only one ???