I do not know how to blog my thoughts.
I am going to run with it . I, like so many other women go through adventures / journeys in life. I have learned from many mistakes , maybe not all of them and not right then but I can look while in a new situation and recall a lesson from the past .
( do I make sense ? , I hope so )
Today , I faced parenting issues , void from a recent loss of a loved one , marital disagreement, and then I was praying to my lord . I looked up and thought am I on the right path ? Do i truly love the woman I see in my rear view mirror? am I proud of who she is ..?
Yes I do love me … Yes I am Proud . why ? because I am still here. A wife, mom, daughter, friend driving my beat up Bertha. I had not given up.. I know its the circle of life , learn as you live . Joshua 5:13
I remember the same feeling last year when my mother passed . The M.E. determined that she took her life I was determined to learn from it. It made me sit and think. What was in her life that made her feel not worth living , did she feel not loved? did she feel her past haunted her ? We all have a past , a demon , a insecurity, something that weighs heavy .
I once heard, challenge can be faced with grace and receive a victory ; a burden is heavy and can only destroy unless we lay it down’.
Do we cover up challenges because of fear ? or the burdens ? do we hide them ? ..
How many moms say they do not know what they are doing but don’t ask other moms because it will show weakness or are embarassed ? Or unhappy with their image and has to cover it up. So that their children do not develop self image issues because society is nuts these days . Galations 6
How about the wives ? who argues over ridiculousness with their spouse, because both parents are overwhelmed ? Or have friends that want to help and have tried so many times its considered enabling . I can go on and on but not sure if that is what blogging is for.
Now , today. I do not know what came alive but something is .schedule changes , house to clean, work obligations, recreational obligations. My children are growing daily. I have great days and then days that the smallest incident consumes my mind if I handled it right. who am I kidding ? I wanted to grow up when i should have wanted stay a TOYS R US KID I do not know how to parent ha there is no book, I am learning myself as I parent in life . Yet that is also the adventure.